3 Tips for a Happier You

How often do you overhear someone complaining? How often do you find yourself impatient, or critical of something or someone? All of us fall into this behavior from time to time. Some of us way more often than others. I think we can all agree that complaining or critical behavior is a sign that we aren't happy about something. Some of us are angry and unhappy about almost everything. I think we can also agree, at least I hope this is true, we would like to have more happiness in our lives, not less.

How can we make this happen? What little steps, or changes can we make to create more happiness in our lives?

Tip #1 - Get Over Ourselves

This tip is a counterintuitive route to more happiness. But, hear me out. When we complain, criticize, or huff and puff with impatience, we're thinking only about one thing: OURSELVES. So, tip #1 is about how we think about ourselves as the center of importance. Become aware that we are not the only person who has ever been inconvenienced by a slow cashier, or chef that overcooks the steak, or the long line at the airport. We're in good company with lots and lots of other people. Become aware that we are simply one person along with millions of other people, and we, you and I, are not more important than any of them.

Knowing that we share the same obstacles and struggles as many other people, some far worse than ours, creates a feeling of connectedness, as well the very important feeling of gratitude.

Tip #2 - Practice Kindness

Practicing kindness serves two purposes.

1. It makes other people or animals as important as you and makes them feel good.

2. It takes you out of yourself for a moment, focusing on someone or something else with a generous intention, and that makes you feel good.

With consistent practice, we become better at what we're practicing. When we practice kindness, we become a kinder person. Kindness becomes integrated into who we are. We create a new pattern of thought. The same is true for practicing patience and tolerance for uncomfortable or inconvenient situations.

Said the Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, "A man's life is what his thoughts make of it"

"We become what we think about" ~Mark Twain

"The more you do something, the more likely it is you will do it again in the future. Repetition rewires the brain and breeds habits. The more the neurons fire together, the more likely they will fire together in the future." ~Psychologist, John Arden from his book, Rewire Your Brain

Tip #3 - Start Each Day With An Intention

How can waking up every day and saying to yourself, "Today I'm going to set an intention to...fill in the blank", make you happier? According to Melissa Maxx, a certified mindfulness coach, "If you don't set an intention, you let the day determine your mood, rather than taking control and determining how you want the day to be."

Create positive intentions. Positive intentions can include some of what we have already talked about, such as,

"I will pay attention to things I feel grateful for"

"I will practice patience today".

"I will practice kindness today."

"I will be more aware of my complaining thoughts and gently shift to a softer view."

Intention setting empowers you to be more of what you want to be, not someone else, just a best version of who you already are, and possibly a more happier you.

"Getting over ourselves", is just another way of saying, "I'm a part of something much bigger than me; a way of connecting to the billions of sentient beings of the planet we live on. When we change our perspective from self to others we soften our hearts and become more in tune with the qualities we value, like generosity, empathy, compassion, kindness, patience, and tolerance, and put them into living experience. We intentionally create these within ourselves with awareness and practice. This is where happiness comes from. It is, and always has been, within us.

I am a Certified Mindfulness Life Coach and I love working with people to create more awareness of their thought patterns and life choices, big and small, and how those choices can open your life to more peace, less stress and greater happiness.